1.4 A New Hope

The news that she was pregnant hit Danisha hard.  As happy as she was to have something that Nielson had left behind for her, she was also deeply grieved knowing this baby would never know their father.  And that night she went to bed in tears thinking about it.

Of course it could have been the overwhelming nature of the news as well as the darkness of nighttime and going to sleep in such a large bed all by herself.  Because when she woke up the next morning she was feeling much better.

She wasn't going to be able to join the police force until after the baby was born, but she could at least make sure she was ready for it when she did.  So she voraciously devoured every page of the book Romeo had given her.  She'd show them.  She'd be the best forensic analyst this city had every seen.  And as she read about the different cases she imagined herself finally cleaning up this city and bringing justice to all of the people who so desperately need it.

Of course, despite her dreams Danisha rarely ventured outside of her tiny apartment.  She'd purchased three additional locks for her door and stayed inside most of the time.  Not just to protect herself, but to protect this tiny new life inside of her.

And so the days flew by and before Danisha could even come to terms with it, she was heavily pregnant.  The stirring of new life inside of her thrilled her.  But at the same time she would look down at her bulging stomach and imagine what could have been and drown herself in the sorrow of her lost love.

Still, she had a new dream now and spent every moment she wasn't taking care of herself pursuing that dream.  She purchased additional books for herself at the bookstore during one of the rare occasions she ventured out of home.  Books on logic, and handiness, and anything else she felt might help her in her future career.

She needed to get stronger too, since she'd likely spend some time on the streets before she could get into the forensics branch, but that was simply going to have to wait until after she was no longer pregnant.  So she did whatever else she could to make herself the best candidate for the police force they had ever seen.  Maybe this had been what Romeo had seen in her.  And she wanted to show both him, and herself, that he was right.

And then the day finally came.  She was woken up during the night by the cramping in her pelvis.  She knew what this meant.  The doctor had warned her about it.  And she was surprisingly calm as she slipped on her dress.

The walk to the hospital was a lonely affair.  If Nielson was still alive he would have escorted her there.  Probably fussing over her the entire way.  She tried not to cry as she walked down the street.  She got enough offers to help as it was.  But she didn't trust any of these people.  If they weren't in a police uniform, then who was to say they weren't the murderer the police had simply been unable to catch?  Even the guy driving the ice cream truck could be a cold-hearted murderer.

Fortunately, she made it to the hospital all right and in record time delivered a healthy baby boy.  When asked what to name it Danisha felt like she was back in that fog and gave the only boy's name she could think of at that time.  "Nielson."  So she was sent home with newborn baby Nielson Gaul.

Danisha didn't get a really close look at her baby until she was back in the safety of her own apartment with the door locked behind her.  Then, as she walked over to the crib she'd only just bought (and just in time too) she took a close look at him.  "Hey... you have Nielson's eyes, don't you?" she asked with surprise as she looked into her baby's face.  In fact, the few wisps of hair she could see were that same dirty blonde color too.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to her.  "Are you... are you Nielson?  Are you my Nielson come back to me...?" she asked, hardly able to breathe.

"Oh Nielson!  You came back to me!" she cried, truly smiling for the first time since his death.  Her Nielson had returned.  Somehow he'd gotten himself turned into a baby, her baby, so they could be together again!  "Nielson, don't you worry.  This time everything will be perfect.  This time I'll make you happy.  I'll give you everything you could ever want!  And this time I'll keep you safe," she promised.  And it seemed like that promise would start with feeding her little man.

After his bottle Nielson fell asleep so she lay him down in his crib and after double-checking that his blanket was wrapped properly and that he wouldn't get cold she pulled out her phone.

"Hello?  Is this Romeo Rake?  This is Danisha Gaul," she explained over the phone when he answered, wondering if he even still remembered her.  Suddenly she began to feel doubt.  What if he'd just said those things at the funeral to be kind to the grieving widow?  What if he hadn't actually meant any of it?"

"Ah, yes, Mrs. Gaul.  How are you doing?  I heard you tried signing up for the police force," he replied, and Danisha felt a wave of relief that he remembered her.

"Just Danisha is fine," she assured, as 'Mrs. Gaul' brought back painful memories.  "And yes, I did.  But I was pregnant at the time so I was turned down.  But I just had my baby and was hoping I could finally apply," she explained.

"Just had your baby?  As in today?  Or a couple of weeks ago?" Romeo asked, not sounding particularly surprised.

"Well, today," Danisha confessed.  She heard him chuckle a bit on the phone before he replied.

"Why don't you take some time to spend with your baby first.  Once he's a little bit older, then we'll talk,"

"But...!"

"Listen, I'm thrilled by your enthusiasm, and I understand where it's coming from, but you have additional responsibilities now too.  I promise that I'll keep the criminals from taking over Bridgeport for a few more weeks so you can really bond with your baby.  This is a rare time for you.  Make the most of it," Romeo insisted before hanging up on her.

She understood where he was coming from.  He seemed like he'd be a great man to work with.  But right now all she could feel was frustration that her dream was on hold for a while longer.

Of course, she quickly realized how right Romeo was.  She couldn't imagine chasing down criminals during the day when Nielson kept waking her up at all hours of the night.

She wouldn't complain, though.  Nielson had already been through so much and she'd already been so selfish with him.  She would never again get angry at him or tell him what to do.  "I'm coming darling, please don't cry.  Look, here's your bottle.  No need to cry for it," she cooed.  She couldn't bear to hear him cry.

But at least the time caring for Nielson gave her time to do some other things as well.  Like finally work out some.  "Look, Nielson.  I bet you never thought you'd see me working out!  I hate sweating.  But here I am.  It's all so I can catch your killer.  I promise you, he won't get away with it.  Oh, but I'm not blaming you for making me sweat, don't worry," she explained.  She spent a lot of time rambling away at Nielson.  It didn't help that he couldn't talk back.  Maybe the conversations wouldn't feel quite as awkward if he could.

"Oh god... I think now *huff* I remember why *huff* I hated P.E. in school *huff*," she panted as she completed her new workout routine.  And she planned on doing this every other day.  Perhaps she'd gone insane.

"At least *huff* since you can't talk *huff* you can't tell me *huff* how out of shape I am," she grumbled, glancing at Nielson's crib.

Of course, she did talk to other people besides Nielson.  Unfortunately, it seemed her grace period had expired and she kept getting calls from men who were more than happy to comfort a young widow, despite the fact that she had a baby.  She didn't handle those very well.  At least Nielson didn't seem all that concerned about her getting stolen away, though.

The one call she did like to get, however, were the ones from Romeo Rake.  Talking to him was soothing somehow.  Often time he just seemed to call to see how she was doing.  He also talked to her a lot about how his work was going and she loved to hear about that.  She never noticed the subtle flirting he added to his calls.

Oh, she'd heard rumors and read in the paper about all of the hearts he'd broken and how he'd be seen with a new lady on his arm every night.  But he'd been nothing but kind to her, and she couldn't imagine that he viewed her in the same way.  No, they were friends and future co-workers.  There was no love to get mixed up in that.

The days just seemed to fly past, and before she realized it, it was Nielson's birthday.  "I'm so sorry, honey.  I can't afford to get you a cake or throw you a party.  Please forgive me.  Baby Nielson didn't seem to comprehend why his mother was so upset.  But as he aged up Danisha nearly cried.  He was looking more and more like his old self by the day.

"Oh honey, look at you!  Looking so handsome!" she enthused before she tickled his little belly.  He immediately began laughing and all Danisha could hope for is that this time she could always keep that smile on his face.

And now that he was a toddler, that also meant that she could finally leave him on his own for longer periods of time.  Which also meant that she could happily and finally start cleaning up this city as it's newest police officer!  If only she didn't have to start out as something like a snitch...


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Sorry for the exceptionally boring chapter.  Danisha didn't do much while pregnant aside from trying to stay happy (and still was so miserable from Nielson's death that I didn't get to pick either traits for the baby)  And then spent all of her time trying to keep baby Nielson happy.  I barely trust Sim babysitters with toddlers, there's no way I'm trusting them with a baby.  Unfortunately, Nielson just had to age up on a Friday so I still have two more days before Danisha started work.  At least that gives her some time to teach Nielson all of the things every toddler needs to learn.